Strictly's Vicky Pattison's anxiety as she issues defiant statement about 'quitting'

There’s nothing like a chat with Vicky Pattison to give you a much-needed dopamine boost first thing on a Monday morning. When we catch up with the Strictly Come Dancing star en route to training, she’s an infectious mix of excitement, enthusiasm and nerves. Now 37, Newcastle-born Vicky has been a public figure for 15 years, and has I’m A Celeb winner, Loose Women panellist, podcaster and radio host on her list of achievements in that time.

But her appearance on Strictly is pushing her further out her comfort zone than ever – and she’s delighted. “I can’t believe my luck most days,” she says, before disappearing off camera to look for a dance shoe. “

"I love my job and I’m scared all the time that it will just go away. I probably do have imposter syndrome, but I’ve never sat there and thought about it for long because it makes me uncomfortable. I’ve never thought, ‘I’m the duck’s nuts’ – that’s kind of gross. It would make me complacent and arrogant. I’m happier being nervous.”

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Despite appearing on the nation’s most beloved TV show, seeing her collection – which includes a red velvet jumpsuit and a gold sequin mini dress “for all bodies” – in what is still one of her go-to high street stores, is a “pinch-me moment”.

“When you’re younger, I think you dress to fit in,” she says. “But now it’s about being yourself. I don’t care what fellas think, I care about how I feel, and I dress for the moments in the girls’ bathroom where someone says, ‘Ooh, where did you get that dress?’

“My goal was to make lasses feel great this party season, like the goddesses they are, without it costing the earth. It’s about inclusivity and representation.”

But with fame comes attention. Over the years, she says, she’s managed to cope with it – but it’s not easy. “Learning to deal with that level of scrutiny and criticism in my formative adult years was a baptism of fire. I was probably always going to be a really hyper-sensitive person, but that exacerbated it.

“I’m not going to complain, though. I love my life. But I’m also not going to tell you it doesn’t bother me, that’s ridiculous. It’s human nature to want to be liked. Some of it’s water off a duck’s back, some really stings.”

But Vicky is passionate about using her platform in the right way. “I could post glam pictures and holiday snaps until the cows come home, but what’s the point? You can’t please everyone, but if you’re doing what you believe in your heart is right and you can sleep at night, what’s it matter what Sharon in Sudbury thinks of you?” she says, adding, “Oh, if there are any Sharons in Sudbury, you know I don’t think badly of you!”

Vicky also hosts the Get A Grip podcast with friend and former Strictly star Angela Scanlon. It’s officially described as “the funniest, most honest group chat you’ll ever be part of”, with the pair offering weekly opinions on everything from “the messy realities of womanhood” to celebrity gossip, world headlines and the mundanity of everyday life.

Vicky recently celebrated her best friend Pete Wicks selling out the O2 with Sam Thompson for a special Staying Relevant podcast live show. Can Vicky see herself and Angela doing the same one day? Not just yet.

“No, that makes me want a Pepto-Bismol,” she laughs. “What Pete and Sam have done is amazing. The energy of the podcasts is similar, and working with Ange is a dream, but, no, I don’t think, as a nervous girlie, I’ve got the O2 in my locker right now. But getting the podcast into more earholes would be great.”

Her Strictly stint will no doubt help on that front, as long as she doesn’t let her nerves get the better of her. Paired with Kai Widdrington, she secured a safe and respectable score of 23 during the first live show.

She’s been incredibly open so far about how she’s feeling. Thankfully, her fellow celebs are stepping up, she says. “Chris Robshaw gives me a big brother bear hug every time I see him, and Ross King holds my hand. Kaz [Carney] and Bal [Sopal] are my girls, too. Obviously, I’ve spent a lot of time on reality TV shows and they normally hinge on big personalities disagreeing, with quite divisive moments. Strictly ’s the polar opposite – everybody is just so lovely.”

Vicky can vividly remember sitting in the audience last year watching best pal Pete dance with Jowita Przystał, before telling her mum and manager she would “never” set foot on the famous dance floor.

“It’s weird because Strictly had been on my vision board for years, so I don’t know what happened. I was fearless in my 20s, like there was nothing I couldn’t do. At the end of the interview before going into the I’m A Celeb jungle, I remember they asked me, ‘Is there anything else you’d like to add?’ I just said, ‘I’ll be really good at this.’ Who was that girl? Now I’d probably say, ‘Thanks so much for considering me.’

“Self doubt has come as a real shock to me. It’s probably got a lot to do with my PMDD [Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder]. But ultimately, for the last couple of years, I’ve known I wouldn’t deal with the stress of Strictly easily.

“On the other hand, I know that nothing great happens in your comfort zone. I love my sofa as much as the next person, but nothing brilliant has happened on there for a long time. It’s just me and the dogs watching Buffy T he Vampire Slayer . So if I want to have the career I want, or people to see me the way I want, I have to do scary things sometimes. I half expected myself to be this way. It’s not my favourite thing about myself, but it’s who I am.”

Having husband of 14 months Ercan Ramadan and dogs Max and Milo cheering her on helps, she says. And without wanting to make Ercan “sound like a 1950s housewife”, he takes care of everything at their Essex home so she can just relax.

“He’s the best husband,” she grins. “Not only is he super supportive, but the relationship dynamic is incredibly healthy, it’s not toxic at all. I’m normal and this is what I’ve always wanted, to be loved by a nice man and have a boring home life, and I’ve got it.

“If I didn’t know I was coming home to Erc and the dogs, I don’t know who I’d be. Probably a miserable cow! I couldn’t cope with Strictly without them. In fact I couldn’t cope with anything without them.”

But even with sometimes crippling nerves and the near-constant physical and mental demands of the show, Vicky isn’t a quitter.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve trekked through deserts, skied through the arctic, jumped backwards out of helicopters and had kangaroo balls in my mouth. So yes, Strictly is hard work and yes, I’m nervous, but there’s no way I’d send a message to every little girl watching that you give up when things are hard. No, you dig deep and you lean on the people that love you. You do that, and you get better and braver.”

As for life after Strictly, Vicky says she and Ercan will host their first Christmas at home, which will hopefully involve “lots of time eating cheese and watching Elf ”.

“Next year, it’s all about having more incredible moments with family and friends,” she says. “We got married last year, which was lovely, and I wanted to keep up the momentum, but even with the best of intentions I didn’t see as much of them as I’d have liked. My niece is growing up so quickly and I’d love to spend more time with her before she thinks I’m seriously uncool. And looking at starting a family myself would be nice, too, if I ever get time off.”

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